Last Five Movies

I noticed this was kinda becoming a monthly thing, so, since it's been a month, yet another installment of Last Five Movies.

Mindhunters (2005)
Have you ever seen a movie that was so bad that it made you wonder why the human race exists? Surely, we'd all be better off dead than having to watch that movie. Well, this is that movie. When I saw previews for this a year ago, it looked like a terrible movie. And then, when it sat on the shelf for a year, I thought, "Wow, this movie must be so shitty that I have to see it!" And I was not disappointed. Luckily, I saw it for free, so as not to perpetuate Renny Harlin's filmmaking career. (I did pay to see Exorcist: The Beginning, however, so I kinda fucked myself on that deal.)

The Longest Yard (1974 and 2005)
Since it'd been about 12 years since I'd seen the original Longest Yard, I thought, for comparison's sake, maybe I'd better rewatch it after having seen the Adam Sandler remake. My findings? They're virtually the same movie: near scene-for-scene carbon copies. If you've seen one, no need to see the other. If you haven't seen either one, go with the original. They actually appear to be playing football in that one.

The Machinist (2004)
I had high hopes for Brad Anderson's newest movie, seeing as his last film, Session 9, is one of the creepiest movies of recent years. And, his new film is creepy. Not the movie itself, but the sight of seeing Christian Bale at a skeletal 120 pounds is enough to keep a person awake at night. There are some nice spooky moments, and a plot twist at the end that ties things together nicely. I wasn't disappointed.

High Tension (2005)
Yet another horror movie, with an identical plot twist. (I've seen this particular plot twist at least four times this year, so much so that I've named it "The Imaginary Antagonist.") Yet, whereas that twist explained everything rather nicely in The Machinist, here, it makes me want to kill the filmmakers. There was really only one way to fuck up this incredibly gory movie in my eyes, and this is it. I was so pissed off when I left the theatre that I actually punched a baby in the face. It's really that bad.

And, so, that would make the winner:

Batman Begins (2005)
If you're going to revive a dead series, best thing to do is to shitcan everything that everyone before you has done, and do something completely new. Which is exactly what Chris Nolan has done with the new Batman movie. A perfectly enjoyable movie. (I was sorta busted up not to see Ra's Al Ghul sporting the bouffant and muttonchops that he wore in the comics, but he did have the goofy goatee.) A great start to a (probable) new series; let's see what he does with the next one.