Does This Surprise Anyone?

Unless you've been in the Arctic Circle for the past week, you've heard about Lindsay Lohan's second DUI bust in as many months. The details of her arrest are fairly standard and boring; it's the things that happened before and after that are hilarious.

Lohan's most recent arrest came just four days after she was booked for her previous arrest. Only in California can you be arrested, take two months off to go to rehab (which, in CA, apparently constitutes nothing more than hanging out in a bikini), and then come in to be booked for that crime. I'm sure that, before she left, they gave her a two-for-one entree coupon for Spago. They were even nice enough to schedule her arraignment for this arrest at the same time as her court date for her previous arrest. Because it works out well for Lindsay's schedule. (That 10.0 earthquake that will break California from the continent and sink it into the ocean can happen any day now.)

Then, not only do they get Lindsay on DUI, but (and this is the one that will stick) they get her for transporting narcotics into the jail, a BIG felony. But, see, she's innocent, because that's not her cocaine. It's not her fault that she had that cocaine; it's whoever's fault that put that coke in her pants. This defense is slightly less plausible than Isaiah Washington claiming it was ABC's fault that he's a homophobe.

We can only hope that Lindsay gets the book thrown at her for everything. Maybe some D.A. looking to make a name for himself will go for blood and put her down for the count. But, I doubt it. I'll be cutting-and-pasting this story with different dates in a couple of months.

See ya then!