The Annual Fall Shows Rundown

Here's a brief recap of the fall shows I've seen far, as well as my thoughts on a couple of returning shows that got the "Writers Strike short shrift," and one that has been hideously retooled:

Life on Mars (ABC)
It's always a really bad sign when, mere months before it airs, a network completely restaffs, recasts, rewrites, and reshoots a pilot episode. It basically says that that original pilot was not good at all (possibly because it had Lenny Clarke and Colm Meany in it). What I don't get is how this "new and improved" version of the pilot is an improvement, as it's a scene for scene remake of the pilot of the British version of the show, complete with allusions to future episodes of the show identical to those in the British version. Is that what this rework amounts to: copying the British show to a "T"? If so, you've got 15 episodes until you're on your own.

Gary Unmarried and Worst Week (CBS)
With dreck like this on the air, it's no wonder that the sitcom is essentially dead. What astounds me is that CBS just keeps cranking them out, all equally unfunny. They have nearly succeeded in making their programming 50% crime shows, 50% sitcoms; they air more of each than every other network combined.

My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
A great concept: A man comes to learn that he's the split personality of a secret agent. You really couldn't come up with a better starring vehicle for Christian Slater. And Mädchen Amick, whom I hadn't seen in nearly 20 years, still looks great. All that being said, this will probably be canceled after next week.

Pushing Daisies (ABC)
Hands down, the best show on TV right now. While all the other "Talking to the Dead" shows take the "scary" route, this one turns the same concept into the blackest of comedies. The casting, the writing, the production design, everything is perfect. If you're not watching this, you probably shouldn't watch TV at all.

Lipstick Jungle (NBC)
Sex and the City without the sex (as this is network TV). I don't understand how Candice Bushnell can continue to crank this crap out, because, pushing 50, she's just about out of the demographic for this show.

The Ex List (CBS)
A psychic tells a woman that the man she will eventually marry is one she has already dated. So, she must go through her "ex list" to find Mr. Right. This is about enough material for a 90 minute movie, not a 26-hour series. In fact, I'd lay money down that there's something very similar to this airing on Lifetime as we speak.

Kath and Kim (NBC)
I don't claim to be the smartest person, but this show is either a) way too smart for me to understand, or 2) stupider than I am by half. I'll guess, um...

Sanctuary (SCI FI)
This starts out to be like Millennium, but turns into...I don't know, Munsters Go Home? Not worth a second look.

Sons of Anarchy (FX)
I generally enjoy every series on FX. Unfortunately, most of them take a while to get going, like the recently-canceled The Riches, which took two boredom-filled seasons to go nowhere. This one's a slow starter, too. I'll give it 'til the end of the season.

Eleventh Hour (CBS)
Yet another "imported from Britain" series clogging the airwaves (three of which are on CBS). This might be something I would watch...if Fox hadn't already been airing a better, nearly-identical show for the past four weeks. Yes, Fringe is the better of the "If You Liked The X-Files, You'll Love..." shows.

The Mentalist (CBS)
One of CBS's plethora of Crime Shows, it's another Psychic Who Solves Crimes Show, with a twist: the protagonist is not actually psychic, but literally played one on television. A pretty clever take on a pretty tired concept, I think this one has some wheels.

And the show that has been retooled within a inch of its life? Why, it's...

Prison Break (Fox), of course.
For a show that had the best first two seasons in recent memory, it sure has had the worst last two seasons I've ever seen, capped off by this new and improved "caper-filled" season. It's like Ocean's Eleven, except that there are only seven in the Scofield Gang. (There was even an episode set in Vegas the other week. How embarrassing.) You know it's gotten bad when the writers ankle the best villain on TV with a subplot in which he sits in an office and reads a bird book all day. (No, seriously, that's all he does.) By Season Two, this show had assembled the best cast on TV. Now, that same cast is reduced to slogging through the same plot, week after week: Steal x from y for z. They even miraculously brought back Sara Tancredi from the dead; maybe they'll bring back John Abruzzi, too, as death is apparently not final on this show. (Not that I'm complaining, as it's nice to have at least one female in this sausage fest, but how do you survive a decapitation? I'd really like to know.)

Hopefully, this will be the last season of Prison Break. It'd be the only way to preserve any sort of legacy this show has. It can't get any worse.

Don't check it out. I want them to cancel this.