Last Five Movies

Jennifer's Body (2009)
Remember how the first 10 minutes of Juno, before Diablo Cody's annoyingly witty dialogue calmed down, were nearly unbearable? Now, imagine that 10 minutes stretched out to feature length, and you have some idea of what Jennifer's Body is like. And the returns for this are proving that most people prefer Megan Fox in the context of transforming robots or in photograph form; all other situations need not apply.

Sorority Row (2009)
Remember how annoying and unwatchable Jennifer's Body was? Different plot, same dialogue: combine, and you have Sorority Row. It's not even stupidly entertaining like the movie it's an uncredited remake of (which would be House on Sorority Row).

The Informant! (2009)
A true story so goofy and twisted, it would almost be impossible to make up something harder to believe. Hopefully, this marks Steven Soderbergh's welcome return to somewhat-conventional movie making.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
I stopped reading the Harry Potter books after the second one. I stopped watching the movies in the theatre after the third one. I've only seen the fourth and fifth movies once each on video, and don't remember anything that happened in either one (in fact, I had a hard time remembering that there were two movies). Needless to say, I had no fucking idea what was going on in this movie. Methinks I might need to revisit those last two movies.

Slow month, this:

Extract (2009)
Mike Judge is probably one of the most criminally under-appreciated filmmakers out there. His last movie, Idiocracy, sat on the shelf for two years before Fox decided to pretend they were going to release it, and then just pitched it onto video with no fanfare. Any given episode of King of the Hill is better than anything Brett Ratner has ever made, yet Ratner's made a billion dollars and Judge can barely get his movies released. Luckily, Extract did get released, which is good for everyone, since it's hilarious. And it's hilarious without having to rely entirely on the comedic genius of Jason Bateman (although his presence helps greatly). Now that King of the Hill's done and The Goode Family's been canceled, Judge can start making movies full-time, just as he should've been doing all along. And the world will be a better place.

Up next for me: Whiteout. I can't wait.