T-Minus Six Months Until The Hustler Spread

Almost two years ago, I mentioned a New York magazine photoshoot in which Lindsay Lohan was, according to her, tricked into posing nude. (I don't see how you can get tricked into that, as, if your clothes are off and someone takes pictures of it, the results will be nude pictures. But, this is Lindsay we're talking about, and she's repeatedly proven herself to be one of the stupidest vertebrates currently residing on this planet.) This seemed, at least to me, to be her career nadir and that she would probably use this to jumpstart her career, and that would be the last time Lindsay got her tits out. But no sooner had Lindsay's bronzer dried that oops, she did it again (to steal a phrase from a similar trainwreck).

In the newest issue of Muse, whose very non-functional website can be found here, Lindsay has posed for yet another nudity-laden photoshoot, this one inspired by a Kate Moss/Johnny Depp shoot in Vanity Fair about a hundred years ago.

Now, mind you, I'm all for female nudity, but, if all female nudity turns out looking like this, well then, I guess I never need to see any woman naked ever again. Lindsay, at age 23, looks worse than that hag from Drag Me to Hell. She has reached that point where doing porn is not so much an option as it is an inevitability. I foresee her getting DP'd in the pages of Hustler any time now. That is, if Larry Flynt would have such a hideous wretch in his magazine.

Even a complete scumbag has standards.