What To Watch During The All-Star Break

Now that television has, for some reason or another, decided it needed to take a late Christmas vacation, many of the fall shows are off the air until spring. But, never fear: There are still new shows to watch in the interim. Here's some you can check out:

Damages, Archer, and Justified (all on FX)
FX has one old show (Nip/Tuck) nearing its series finale, and has already replaced it with three new ones. Damages is a perennial Emmy nominee and winner, so you know that's some quality programming. Archer is a hilarious trifle of a cartoon that's just as funny but more focused than creator Adam Reed's previous shows, Frisky Dingo and Sealab 2021. And while Justified doesn't air until March, I know I'll be watching, as it chronicles the exploits of one of my favorite Elmore Leonard characters, US Marshal Raylan Givens. Really, I defy anyone to find better programming than that on FX.

24 (Fox)
The most ridiculous show on TV gets more ridiculous every year. If nothing else, it's always interesting to see what kind of nonsense will call Jack Bauer back to duty, and equally stupefying to see how no one believes anything Bauer says, even though he's never been wrong and has saved the world countless times. I am pleased to see that Elisha Cuthbert is being allowed to merely play Jack Bauer's daughter, as Katee Sackhoff has been cast as the "Girl Who Gets into Some Silly Predicament," a role that Cuthbert was forced to endure for years. If nothing else, I'll keep watching to see how they manage to shoehorn Aaron Pierce back into the show, as he's the only character other than Bauer to appear in every season.

Lost (ABC)
Is there anyone who's not anticipating what's going to happen on this mess?

Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Starz)
It's called Spartacus, but it's more along the lines of Gladiator. Actually, it's exactly like Gladiator, except with more profanity, violence, and nudity. And, seeing as I absolutely fucking hated Gladiator, I think you can guess my feelings on this one. Oh, and for those of you that don't have premium cable, Starz is nice enough to show episodes for free on their website. If it's always been your desire to see Lucy Lawless naked, watch away; otherwise, pass.

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox)
It's always hilarious to see how Fox is going to make Gordon Ramsay seem like the world's biggest asshole. Talk about overamped. (By the way, there's a Billy Mays infomercial on TV right now, even though he's been dead for six months. Some guys can sell anything, even from beyond the grave.)

Caprica (SyFy)
Find out who and what created the robots that will eventually annihilate the human race in this prequel to Battlestar Galactica. So far, I'm hooked.

Human Target (Fox)
A while back, I mentioned my interest in this show. Now that I've seen the first three episodes, I'm still interested, even if the last two episodes haven't been as strong as the pilot. It's nice to see a big name like Jackie Earle Haley get more screentime, but I still fear the show will get canceled. While Fox has set it up to succeed by airing it directly after the #1 show on TV (American Idol), it competes directly against the #5 show on TV (NCIS: Wherethefuckever). We'll just have to see if it can keep up its currently strong ratings.

If I come across anything else watch-worthy, I'll let you know.