George Clooney: Never Been To Las Vegas

It shouldn't be any surprise to anyone now that George Clooney is working on opening a resort in Las Vegas. But, not just your typical shitty resort; he's got something special in mind.

"We have this romantic notion of a place where you put on a jacket or a dress to go to dinner," he's been quoted as saying. "We will have some sort of dress code so that it will feel like you are walking into a more formal Las Vegas of a different age or a classic Monte Carlo casino. I may be the novice of this group, but I have a good idea of what I like in Las Vegas, and it is all about class."

Maybe I'm missing something here. All of the times I've been to Vegas, I never noticed anyone worrying about "class". The last time I was there, I walked around for five days in shorts and a t-shirt, as did the other 100,000 or so people there, and no one seemed terribly offended. People don't go to Vegas to hang out at a five-star resort; they go there to see white tigers and pirate ships, and drop their second mortgage on the craps table. (You can go to Spago, which is slightly classier than the Sizzler, in jeans and a polo shirt and not feel out of place.)

My guess is that maybe George has never been to Las Vegas. (I realize that Ocean's Eleven takes place in Vegas, but that can all be faked in post-production.) If he had, he might notice that people are there to have a good time, not act like visiting dignitaries.

And this is the problem when assholes with money get some screwy idea about what people want. It's the reason why Tarantino made Kill Bill, and it's the reason Vegas is going to have a new resort that doesn't appeal to anyone but George Clooney.

So, George, you can hang out at Las Ramblas with the rest of the Ocean Gang in your tuxedos, and have a great fucking time. Me? I'll be playing blackjack in my swimtrucks at the Tropicana, and having a waaay better time.