Last Five Movies

Red Eye (2005)
Red Eye had an absolutely brilliant teaser trailer. It started with a scene where two people Meet Cute at an airport, only to keep bumping into each up to and onto the plane. And just when we think this is going to be a remake of Forces of Nature, the trailer goes black, except for that red eye. Great stuff. If only the actual movie had turned out to be as good as those two minutes. What starts off as a great first hour turns into a movie that literally anyone could have come up with. I don't even need to tell you what happens once they get off the plane; you already know. Yes, it's that predictable.

Ong-Bak (2003)
Remember the first time you saw a Jackie Chan movie? Not that shit he made once he defected to the States, but the stuff he made in Hong Kong. Remember that experience of "No fucking way did he just get run over by a hovercraft!"? Well, in the wake of Jackie Chan's recent lameness, Tony Jaa is trying to step into his shoes. Jaa does some things in this movie that are absolutely insane. And the fact that the fights don't appear to be fake at all (pretty hard to fake getting blasted in the face with a foot) only adds to the insanity. Unfortunately, whereas Chan's stunts, while elaborately planned and staged, actually appeared to be somewhat spontaneous, Jaa's stunts appear to be inserted into the movie just for the sake of showing some incredible stuntwork. If Jaa gets some decent producers, watch out; he may be our Next Action Hero.

Oldboy (2003)
It's nice to see South Korean cinema getting some recognition after years of being the redheaded stepchild of Southeast Asia. Oldboy was all the rage at Cannes (and, allegedly, almost won the Palm d'Or), and probably deserves to be. It's very well made and looks great. But the plot is so ridiculous that it pretty much ruins the movie. Unfortunately, it's so well made that you don't realize you've been had until the end, when the secret of the plot is revealed. A great try; check out Park's JSA instead. Much better movie.

Ravenous (1999)
I've seen lots of Cannibal Movies; maybe all of them. You start to miss them after a while, because it's been a dead genre for about 20 years. Needless to say, I was shocked and awed when Ravenous came out, because, well, it's a fucking Cannibal Movie. Who makes a Cannibal Movie in this day and age? Well, these guys, apparently. And what a movie they made! Gross and funny, with a plot that isn't just a delivery vehicle for the cannibal scenes. Probably the best Cannibal Movie ever. Seriously.

Love Ravenous, but it's hard to top on...

Lifeforce (1985)
Every so often, a movie comes along that takes everything and the kitchen sink, and crams it all into one movie. A recent example is Brotherhood of the Wolf, which was a Costume Drama, a Monster Movie, a Kung Fu Movie, and a Murder Mystery all rolled into one. That's a lot of shit to be in one movie. The same is true of Lifeforce. Tobe Hooper's second foray into big-budget filmmaking (behind Poltergeist, a movie I still believe was actually directed by Steven Spielberg) combines a Space Movie, a Vampire Movie, a Zombie Movie, and a Disaster Movie into one great flick. With all of these elements, it might sound like a trainwreck, but it's surprisingly well made; it actually appears as though they were trying to make a good movie. And the fact it stars Steve Railsback (who will always be Charles Manson in my eyes) only adds to the fun. Check it out.