The Tribulations Of A Guitar Player

I recently decided that taking up the guitar might be a good waste of my time. And, despite that fact that I'm absolutely atrocious, I'm already looking for my next guitar.

No one ever plays one guitar their whole life. They're always looking for another one. Even Eric Clapton and Eddie Van Halen retired their famous guitars for something else. So, this means I spend a lot of time guitar shopping, trying to find that guitar/amp combination that's going to take me to the next level.

The great thing about most guitar shops, particularly the big ones, is that they actually encourage you to play the merchandise. Playing it is the only way to see if it's any good and if it's what you want. You're basically a jackass to buy a guitar you haven't played beforehand (like I did), because you're going to end up with something that's wrong for you.

And while we're talking about guitar stores, I think it's a prerequisite that all guitar store employees a) be able to play the guitar really well, and b) know everything there is to know about guitars. And they're insanely helpful. One at Guitar Center literally inundated me with guitars he thought I might like, one of which was a $1700 Les Paul (which played like a $1700 guitar).

However, the problem with guitar stores is that I'm kinda embarrassed to go in there, as I really am not a good player at this point. It's difficult not to be self-conscious of my guitar-playing ability when a guy the next aisle over has the Zakk Wylde Custom plugged into a Marshall half-stack, tearing the hell out of "Eruption," while I have a ukulele plugged into a five-watt practice amp, struggling my way through, well, nothing. Plus, it's difficult to tell what sounds good when 1) I don't know what "sounds good" sounds like, and 2) I don't know what "sounds good" sounds like.

But, all that being said, I keep going. If nothing else, it's fun to just handle the merchandise. Someday I'll be good. Someday.

Maybe.


BTW, there's another problem with guitar stores, and that's taking The Girl to them. On one trip, I showed her a Gibson Flying V that I thought was pretty cool. Her response was, "That is pretty cool...if you're C.C. DeVille."

My own wife. Wow. I guess it doesn't help that one of the songs I do know how to play is "Every Rose Has Its Thorn."

I bring this shit on myself, I suppose.