I Am Lightly Disappointed

I recently had an opportunity to see the new Will Smith actioner I Am Legend. For those of you who know nothing about the movie, it's the third adaptation of the Richard Matheson novel of the same name. But, while it has the pedigree of being the only adaptation to bear the name of the novel, it's actually just a remake of adaptation #2, The Omega Man, which had nothing to do with the novel other than the "last man on Earth" theme. (Oddly enough, The Last Man on Earth was the first adaptation of I Am Legend, and the most loyal, as its screenplay was actually written by Matheson.)

So, basically, what you end up with is a warmed-over version of a movie that wasn't that good to begin with. The new special effects are nice, making New York City actually look deserted, instead of just looking like it was filmed in abandoned back alleys. But the "infected" humans look stupid and their increased presence at the end of the film turns this into just another mindless action movie, instead of the study of loneliness that Matheson originally intended.

And speaking of which...the major theme of the book and all three movies has been what happens to a person when they are subjected to complete loneliness, the complete absence of anyone else but you. The book and movies portray this as a bad thing.

To be quite honest, that would be my ideal existence. In this new movie, Will Smith seems to have fun standing on the deck of the USS Intrepid, hitting golf balls off the tailfin of a Blackbird. And going to the video store and interacting with the assorted mannequins he has set up throughout the city. But, the fun all ends when he mopes back to his lab to think about how lonely he is, and find a cure for the virus that wiped out the population.

I think being the last man on earth would be great. Imagine where you could live; imagine what you could do. Smith refuses to leave the island of Manhattan; no wonder he's so pissed (although he does appear to have plundered New York's Museum of Modern Art). Me, I'd be all over the place. Hell, I'd be happy just to drive around town, knowing that I'm not going to have to deal with all the mongoloid drivers. I'd live in Las Vegas, on an entire floor of suites in the Wynn. I'd drive a Lamborghini backwards down the highway. I'd shoot small and large arms fire at all the condos and timeshares. I'd light my cigarettes with $100 bills and use a pile of gold bouillon as a hot plate. And not a person in the world to stop me.

"Last man on Earth"? Hardly. More like, "Best Man on Earth"!