Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"Raise Your Hand If You're A Steroid User"


It has not been a good couple of weeks for baseball. First, it became public that the Feds have steroid-tainted samples of Barry Bonds' urine. Then, it turns out that Miguel Tejada probably did inject Ralph Palmeiro with more than just B-12. (Have you noticed that Tejada's numbers have trailed off considerably since 2005? Odd coincidence, that.)

But the real bombshell was when it was revealed that Alex Rodriguez, the highest-paid player in sports, was among the 104 players who tested positive for steroids during MLB's 2003 exploratory sampling that led to its current steroid testing policy. Not that anyone's really surprised...

A-Rod claims that he started taking steroids when he was signed to the Texas Rangers for the most money ever. Rodriguez claims he felt he needed to live up to the incredible expectations of his contract, so he took steroids. Not that that would be a problem on the Rangers, which, at the time, were probably the most juiced team in baseball. In '01, they had Ralph Palmeiro, who...duh; Pudge Rodriguez, who lost 30 pounds as soon as baseball started testing for steroids; Ken Caminiti, an unrepentant steroid user and whistleblower; and, later, Juan Gonzalez and John Rocker. Not a hard place to get steroids.

Now, mind you, when A-Rod tested positive, he tested positive for something that wasn't illegal in baseball. But that's because the players were taking the most high-tech performance-enhancing drugs possible, and baseball was testing for shit like Quaaludes.

What's this mean for A-Rod? Probably nothing, unless he's stupid enough to test positive again. He'll still be in baseball, he'll still win more MVPs, he'll still have all of his record-breaking numbers. But, in the mind of every sports fan, he'll have that big red asterisk next to his name.

I bet the Yankees wish they hadn't opted to take A-Rod for another 10 years. No one likes being that team, the one with the well-known steroid user; just ask the Giants.

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