Shaq Can Grab Nash's Ass Every Day Now, If He Wants

A couple of days ago, I posted on the Lakers getting Pau Gasol as a possible replacement for that "thing" they've been missing since they lost Shaq. The Miami Heat found it when they actually got Shaq and won a championship. Well, turns out, the Heat, who are really awful this year, no longer have Shaq. He's a Phoenix Sun now.

Shaq has been traded to the Suns for disgruntled forward Shawn Marion and a player to be named later (who is actually Marcus Banks, but like he's ever gonna play).

This is actually a really great deal for the Heat. They get a pretty versatile big man in exchange for the seat on the bench that Shaq's fat ass has been occupying since the onset of his latest injury. It's a good deal for Marion as well, as he instantly moves in as option #2 in an offense that pretty much just has that one option. (Wade's my boy, but he's not Kobe or Iverson; he's just not good enough to will a team into being good.)

As for the Suns...their fast-paced offense gets the 340 lb anchor that is Shaquille O'Neal. Remember in Aiplane!, when Kareem tells that kid to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes? Steve Nash will be saying something similar to this when he's asked why the Suns are suddenly running the "water torture" offense. Luckily for them, Shaq is still injured, so his lumbering presence won't be felt until at least next week.

Honestly, I don't know what the Suns thought they were getting. Maybe they don't realize it's 2008 and think they're getting the svelte Shaq that used to hustle down the court in Orlando. Maybe they think they're good enough that they can overcome the fact that Shaq may not cross halfcourt by the time they score (ironically, much the way Kareem did in his later years). Maybe they just got so tired of Marion bitching about his role that, "hell, if we could get Shaq for him, that might not be a total bust."

Regardless of how it turns out, whether the Heat improve or not, whether the Suns slow down or not, a lot of people are going to be watching Shaq. Either Suns' new President Steve Kerr will be hailed as a genius for bringing Shaq to Phoenix, or be run out on a rail as the guy that saddled the Suns with that behemoth.

I suspect the "genius" calls will be held in check.