Last Five Movies

When Time Ran Out (1980)
Mercifully, Paul Newman's second go-'round in an Irwin Allen Disaster Movie was his last movie of the '70s, a decade in which he starred almost exclusively in crap. And even though I'd seen this movie on TV before, this is the first time it's been on DVD. It's part of the "Paul Newman Film Series," Warner Brothers' shameless attempt to cash in on the death of Newman by rereleasing several of his out-of-print (and out-of-print for good reason) and forgotten movies. So, this is how we end up with an absolute dog like When Time Ran Out with a beautifully remastered print. And while this career nadir for Newman would signal a turnabout in his career, as he would be nominated thrice and actually win the Best Actor Oscar (ironically, a year after being given an honorary one) within the next six years, it would tragically be the end of William Holden's brilliant career, as he would literally drink himself to death a year later. (Yes, you too might've drank yourself to death if you had starred in it.) This one's for masochist completists only.

Now, back to the one-liners...

Pride and Glory (2008)
Remember about a year ago, there was a movie called We Own the Night? This is pretty much the same movie.

Quarantine (2008)
Imagine the high concept of "28 Days Later meets The Blair Witch Project," and you know exactly what to expect from this movie. Despite it's somewhat stupid concept, it's very well-made and might actually be considered "scary" from time to time. And the rumor that the ending is given away in the trailer and on the video box is 100%...well, see for yourself.

Friday the 13th (2009)
Basically, what you have here is a remake of the last 10 minutes of the original Friday the 13th and bits and pieces of Parts 2 and 3-D. This was quite obviously made by the same idiots that brought you the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, because, if you were to interchange Jason and Leatherface, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two movies.

You're having a reeeeally shitty week when this is the tops:

Vice Squad (1982)
A quintessentially-shitty '80s Cop Movie that I've already seen a half dozen times, and would watch again before I watched any of the aforementioned pieces of garbage again. (Seriously.) I mean, what's not to like about Gary Swanson trying to act like a tough cop in his crimson Members Only jacket? Or Wings Hauser as a pimp named Ramrod, who wears cowboy shirts and likes to beat on whoors with wire hangers? If I'd never seen To Live and Die in L.A., I'd call this the Scummiest Cop Movie of All-Time.

Movies like this were the only good thing about the '80s; check it out.