Post-Oscars Post

Some random thoughts on the Oscars:

-Well, they usually make the hosts do some ridiculous opening musical number, despite the fact they can't sing. At least they were good enough to get a host who can sing. Too bad he wasn't funny.

-I told you Penelope Cruz would win. But she should've just given her whole acceptance speech in Spanish, because her tenuous grasp of the English language didn't make in any less unintelligible.

-And while I appreciate that they showed Vanessa Redgrave accepting her Oscar during the Best Supporting Actress montage, I was disappointed that they cut away before she went on her infamous tirade against the Jews that got her booed off stage.

-It was nice to see Tina Fey and Steve Martin make fun of Scientologists to an audience full of them. And again with The Reading of the Screenplays. That needs to go away.

-I liked that Jack Black said exactly what everyone thinks about the quality between Pixar and Dreamworks films. And while I didn't understand a single word the winner for Best Animated Short said, I do understand he put the Japanese language back a thousand years when he said "Domo arigoto, Mr. Roboto."

-Joaquin Phoenix is now officially a joke. And shame on the show's director for actually trying to carry on with the show when Ben Stiller's up on stage clowning around.

-Is it just me, or does Danny Boyle bear a striking resemblance to Morrissey?

-The shows' writers missed a better joke about James Franco kissing Sean Penn. And Janusz Kaminski telling this year's Cinematography winner to suck it was hilarious.

-Cuba Gooding Jr. presenting the Best Supporting Actor Oscar is the most work he's had since, well...the time he presented the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.

-While Man on Wire justifiably won, it would have been nice to see Werner Herzog's career be topped off with an Oscar. He's gone from a certified nut to one of our best documentarians.

-Will Smith was on the stage for about an hour. Are they that hard up for presenters?

-Jerry Lewis has been in the business for 60 years, and, ironically, he wins his first Academy Award for his work for the MDA. And he's starting to look a lot like Richard Nixon.

-WHAAAAAAATTT?!? No Bill Conti? The guy wrote "Gonna Fly Now," and he's not conducting the Oscar orchestra? Bullshit.

-I didn't think it was possible to fuck up the "In Memoriam" segment. I was wrong.

-I will say that Kate Winslet was a good win, but Meryl got robbed.

-Spicoli wins again, but could've done without all the grandstanding. "I'm King of the World!" What a homo Commie-loving son of a bitch.

-And, no real surprise, Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture. Even though he's been an unknown commodity up to this point, I suspect the Indian kid from Skins will be getting more work from now on.

Overall, a decent ceremony. I can see they're trying to keep the time down (by having presenters do several awards and cramming all the Best Song nominees together), but by playing to Hugh Jackman's strong points (ie, singing), they add a lot of bulk with unnecessary musical numbers. Maybe next year, they'll just go with someone funny instead of someone talented.

And add an hour's worth of jokes to the show.

Oh, btw, I'm saddened to see that they've remade The Taking of Pelham 123, one of the best Action Films of the '70s, and Fame, the first R-rated movie I saw in the theatre.

Hollywood is T-minus five years from being completely out of ideas; remakes of remakes are next.