Selling Out For Screech

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a big fan of ads on websites. But, a special story has broken my heart and caused me to make an exception. Yep, that's right: I'm giving up ad space to Screech.

As some of you may have heard, Dustin Diamond, who played lovable retard Screech on Saved by the Bell (and stayed with the show after Zach joined the NYPD, Jessie became a stripper, and Kelly got tits and moved to 90210), has come to have some problems with the house he owns in Port Washington, WI. Due to the property values in the PW going up, and Dustin's bad credit, he is now forced to come up $250,000 to keep his house. As Dustin is a d-list celebrity, $250,000 is not easy to come up with. So, he has decided to sell t-shirts, at $15 a pop, with an image of him holding a sign reading, "Save My House." For an extra $5, he'll even autograph it for you. It's a plea for help.

Why, you ask, have I chosen to throw my support behind such an obvious bit of whoredom? I felt no need to shell out money to Pete Rose to pay off his gambling debts. Nor have I felt the need to contribute to Suzanne Somers' or Chuck Norris' or any other celebrity's infomercial retirement funds. So, why this one? Because it's fucking Screech.

You have to give props to a guy who, I'm sure, in real life, is just a likeable average guy, yet, on TV, played one of the biggest mongoloid retards ever. And what has Screech ever done to you, other than make you glad that you weren't Screech? Plus, being a WI resident and having lived in Milwaukee, of which Port Washington is a suburb, for eight years, I feel a responsibility to help a statewide brother out.

So, if you're a Screech fan, or just feel like being charitable, go to GetDshirts.com, or click on the link under the "Dustin Diamond Edition" poll, and pick up your shirt. You'll feel better for it, and it will keep Screech close to you for years to come.