Not So Cool Now, Are Ya

This morning, I was listening to Bob and Brian on the internet. Their online player has a feature that shows little blurbs of recent news stories. I don't usually look at them, but one popped up in Entertainment that happened to catch my eye. There was a picture of Tom Brady accompanied by the caption, "Gisele's Husband in Water Rescue." After reading the story, I can confirm that this may be the most misleading headline in history.

Being involved in a water rescue would make you think that maybe Tom had saved someone from drowning, much as Harrison Ford, Christian Slater, and George Clooney have been cited for in the past. But no. Tom Brady was the one being rescued. He and Gisele were out kayaking and Tom fell out of the boat. He couldn't get back in and needed to be rescued by a passerby.

A three-time Super Bowl champ, and this guy can't get back in a boat; what's that do to a guy's masculinity?

Then he gets referred to as "Gisele's Husband," rather than by "NFL MVP Tom Brady." Brady's got a resume that will one day be engraved on a plaque in Canton. Gisele has just the one line on hers: 2000-2007: Victoria's Secret, Underwear Model. Yet Brady gets to play bitch to his supermodel wife.

But, this story was in the "Entertainment" section, and the yokels who get all of their news from People, Us, TMZ and Perez Hilton probably couldn't pick "Tom Brady" out of a lineup, but could mos def identify "Gisele's husband."

Let's hope Brady is able to come back from his knee injury and return to his MVP form. Otherwise, he may just become that guy that's married to Gisele who fell out of that boat that one time.

As for the circulating rumor that Gisele is pregnant with Tom's baby, I think that's just a lot of hype. I doubt Brady is all that anxious to jump back in the fatherhood boat (as evidenced by his inability to jump back into an actual boat). He's already got one bastard child he's paying millions in support for, and I can't see him wanting another. Because, years from now, Tom Brady will still be Tom Brady and Gisele won't be as young and pretty, and Tom might want to trade up on that. Hell, Leonardo DiCaprio traded Gisele in in her prime; why would Brady want to "financially obligate" himself to her after she goes to pasture in 15 year?

However, men tend to get really stupid around women, and when Brady's really hot wife says she wants to have a baby, he probably jumped all in with both feet.

So, congrats on your second unwanted child, Tom. Hopefully you've got as many more Super Bowl wins in ya.