The Three Degrees Of Tom

For a number of years, a friend and I have discussed the concept of "poor man's" actors: actors you get when your first choice is unavailable. Poor man's actors tend to be lesser actors, and often play many of the same types of roles in smaller budget films that the big star would play in a big budget movie. A real easy example is Donny Wahlberg being the poor man's Mark Wahlberg. There are dozens of other examples out there.

A couple of years ago, a really striking example came to my attention while I was watching The Scorpion King.

Peter Facinelli (pictured at left), better known as Mr. Jennie Garth, is almost an exact duplicate of Tom Cruise. Not only does he resemble Tom, he even sounds and acts like Tom. His performance in Scorpion King was pretty much identical to Tom's in Interview With A Vampire. (I know, you didn't think the vampire Lestat was in The Scorpion King, but I'll be damned if he isn't.)

Ever since, every time I've seen Peter in anything (the show Fastlane was a great showcase for him), he is totally channeling Tom Cruise. The guy must actually think he is Tom Cruise. It's incredible, really.

And then, when I didn't think anything could get anymore fucked up than a perfect doppleganger of Tom Cruise, I happened to catch tonight's episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and my mind exploded.

This guy,
whose name is Daniel Kucan, is one of the design team members on Extreme Makeover, and he is the poor man's Peter Facinelli. Yes, the Tom Cruise clone has his own clone. (This picture, in which he looks like Noah Wyle with AIDS, does no justice to his actual Facinelliness.)

He acts and talks just like Peter; he's a third-degree likeness of Tom Cruise. (The scariest thing about this is that this idea was uttered by The Girl almost simultaneously as me thinking it. It's scary when you're totally on the same page like that.) He is the poor man's Tom Cruise, twice removed. He's the reality TV version of Tom Cruise (which is really pathetic). His list of titles goes on and on.

So, if you ever happen to see Daniel or Peter on TV, and keep thinking to yourself, "Who does this guy remind me of?", now you know.