Last Five Movies

Reno 911!: Miami (2007)
I've seen Reno 911! on TV a couple of times, and never really found it that funny. I know there are people that find the show funny, but I've never laughed once. Maybe I don't know what humor is. People find Family Guy to be "hilarious," but I think it's the least funny thing to ever air on television (with the possible exception of Roots or anything starring Carlos Mencia). And I feel the same way about Reno 911! So, I'm not sure what made me think that an 80 minute version of the show might make it any funnier. Is the joke suppose to be that a bunch of disgusting degenerates are cops? Or that they're the stupidest people on Earth? Am I suppose to laugh at the fact that Lt. Dangle is obviously gay, yet everyone seems oblivious to it? I don't get it. Maybe I don't know what "funny" is. But I doubt it.

Evilspeak (1981)
If watching a young Clint Howard chop off peoples' heads with a sword is your thing, this movie is for you. All others need not apply.

Knocked Up (2007)
Yet another laffathon from "the guys that brought you The 40-Year-Old Virgin." And while the movie really is very funny, Apatow has made the mistake of giving all the best lines to the supporting cast. It's not a good thing when characters with 30 seconds of screen time (like Ryan Seacrest) are funnier than the two leads are for the whole movie. Seth Rogan is no Steve Carell.

Transformers (2007)
If you were a fan of the cartoon or the toys, you will automatically enjoy this movie. I liked that Optimus Prime had the same voice as he did on the cartoon, and that the classic "Transformer" sound makes a couple of cameos. And any screen time devoted to Megan Fox is always appreciated. But I agree with Roger Ebert's assessment that the Transformers actually have too much screen time; sometimes, less is better. And, this is a Michael Bay movie, and quite possibly the most overblown movie he's ever made, which is a bad thing. (There is a shot toward the end that is the most ridiculous thing ever committed to film. I don't need to tell you what it is; you'll know.) The action scenes are edited in such a way that they resemble a Magic Eye painting: your eyes can't even comprehend what's going on (somewhat on par with Armageddon). And, last but not least, there's waaaay too much Anthony Anderson. I appreciate the effort, I really do, but it could have been so much better.

Tough call, what with Transformers and all, but...

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
A few weeks back, I claimed that the new Die Hard sequel appeared to break from the "Bruce Willis trapped in a _____ with terrorists" formula of the first three movies. Well, turns out I was wrong. In this one, John McClane is trapped below the Mason-Dixon Line with terrorists. See: Pretty much the same. And while this is not the smartest movie in the world, it is never boring. There are cars crashing into helicopters, SUVs driving down elevator shafts, even tractor trailers being chased by a jet fighter. And while the action is great, what I really appreciated was the acting talent. It was good to see Cliff Curtis yet again play a nationality not his own. Consummate "That Guy" Zeljko Ivanek makes an appearance to pad his already lengthy resume. Kevin Smith is perfectly cast as the fat computer geek. And any time you can sneak the adorable Mary Elizabeth Winstead into a film is a good thing. (Justin Long should probably stick to making Apple commercials, but you take the good with the bad.) As I mentioned before, the movie is pretty dumb, and its plot appears to be mostly stolen from Goldeneye, but, c'mon: it's John McClane, The Man That Will Not Die. A good time for the whole family.