Last Five Movies

Altered States (1980)
I've never done LSD before, but I imagine it's pretty much like watching this movie. If you were on acid and watched this movie, I'm sure your head would explode. Trippiest...movie...ever.

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
I can review this movie in three words: What. The. Fuck. Is this movie supposed to be funny? Is it supposed to be action-packed? What are Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti doing in it? (It does also star Monica Bellucci, who actually appears to be getting more attractive as she ages.) Completely awful. Before Bush leaves office, he should create a list of banned movies that can never be owned or viewed by anyone, and this movie should be the only movie on that list. Yes, it is worse than even Cannibal Holocaust, the most vile thing ever committed to film. And that's really saying something.

The Brothers Solomon (2007)
With the exception of the above movie, this is one of the dumber movies I've seen in a while. That being said, I laughed almost non-stop. "What the fuck is THAT?" "THAT the fuck is the crib." If you're not on the Will Arnett bandwagon, you seriously have no concept of what "funny" is.

The Psychic (1977)
No need to review this one again: My IMBD review (first review for this title, btw).

Not a hard choice here...

Eastern Promises (2007)
I've been a fan of David Cronenberg since the '80s, when I discovered his gonzo horror movies. And, like my other two favorite gonzo horror movie directors of the '80s, Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson, he's toned down over the years. But, unlike Raimi and Jackson, who became sellout kiddie-movie bitches, Cronenberg actually matured, directing more obscure and darker fare, finally becoming a "respected" filmmaker. It started with Spider, and then A History of Violence, and now this. Cronenberg gave up on grossout, and instead decided to focus on complicated character studies, which has worked out pretty well for him. While I'd love to see Cronenberg direct something as goofy as The Brood or Naked Lunch again, I'm sure whatever he directs next will be just as good. Hopefully, it will be an adaptation of Dr. Strange or some other shit comic book property, so that I can get on with hating him, too.

Fingers are crossed.