Hottie In The Hizzy!!

When did Nicolette Sheridan become the hottest thing in Hollywood since Bea Arthur? It seems I can't open a copy of Us or watch The Insider without seeing a story on this hot, young starlet. Well, I got news for ya, folks: she ain't hot and she ain't young.

First off, she was borderline cute near 20 years ago on Knots Landing. But, well, that was 20 years ago, and she looks like she's aged in dog years. "OOOOOh, she's an older woman, so she's ugly, you chauvinist asshole." No, she's ugly because she's ugly.

Of the other regular female cast members on Desperate Housewives, Nicolette is third oldest at 41, behind Marcia Cross and Felicity Huffman (Teri is a year younger, and Eva, well, I'm older than she is). She isn't even in the same league as the other 40+ women on the show. They're attractive. As for Nicolette...Remember that Bea Arthur reference I made earlier? That's the league she's in.

So, please, Access, People, Insider, Us, ET, Star, CJ: if you want to highlight a show by showing off its hot stars, show off some actually hot stars; DH has plenty of them. Let's just send Nicolette back to the locker room with the towels. And for God's sake, keep her away from Terrell Owens.